Garcinquisition: The cellulose menace

Hello, my gentle fans. Today, in my neverending crusade for consumers’ rights, I shall talk about a topic cravenly evaded by my colleagues: paper-based DRM. While they waste their time complaining about games being released in a broken state, or content being cut in order to be sold as DRM, I’m tackling the real problems. I know it’s a heavy topic, but someone has to make a stand against this.

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Modern gaming’s most serious threat.

Ask yourself this, dear followers: a piece of paper is keeping you away from videogames? It’s absurd, it’s insane, it’s revolting, and yet publishers continue to lend their consumer base to the wiles of Big Paper. Well I won’t have it anymore, no matter how many more paragraphs I have to waste by patting my own back.

And it’s not just “look in page X of the manual” or a leaflet with codes. No, evils of the magnitude of paper-based DRM assume many forms, such as the dreaded code wheel. Taking consumers’ rights and spinning them until they fly off the face of the Earth, these devilish devices a threat to videogames.

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Three hundred and sixty degrees of oppression.

I can only assume the deafening silence on this subject stems from fears of reprisal by the Pulp Lobby. But you know me, I can’t sit by idly when faced with such injustice, consequences and fear of ridicule be damned. Paper-based DRM is a very serious matter, and I’m sure history and Patreon will vindicate my bravery.

Hopefully next I’ll able to break to you similarly massive threats against consumers such as [teigger warning: phallic imagery] DRM dongles.

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